Life Lessons From Amputee Pickleball Player

Speaker 1 0:00

Hi, I'm Shelly Maurer and I'm Cher Emrick.

Speaker 2 0:03

Welcome to Life Lessons from Pickleball, where we engage with pickleball players from around the world about life on and off the court.

Speaker 1 0:12

Thanks for joining us. Welcome to Life. Lessons from Pickleball everyone. How lucky are we to have Brian De Herrera as our guest today. Brian, you are a retired special education teacher which absolutely touches my heart and you're a high school basketball coach and currently working as a realtor in Colorado and Arizona, and you love pickleball. We are so glad you're with us today.

Speaker 2 0:41

Thank you, it's a pleasure to be here I had the privilege of playing with you, Brian, in Colorado when I was there visiting my daughter in Denver. That's what I love about pickleball we can always find a game and meet interesting people.

Speaker 3 0:56

Yeah.

Speaker 1 0:57

And when Shelly came back from her trip, she said oh Cher, I met one of the most interesting people.

Speaker 2 1:03

Yeah, I was in Denver playing mixed doubles against Brian and we had a really fun game. And when the game was over, the guy next to me turned to me and he said Can you believe how good Brian plays with only one leg? And I was stunned because not only had I not noticed, but he was such a great player moving around the court and was so agile, and I was just in awe and I thought well, brian's got to be on my podcast because he'll be such an inspiration for people to hear his story. Well, thank you.

Speaker 1 1:43

Well, thank you. My former brother-in-law is an amputee too, and I really appreciate that you are sharing your story, and I know you have a 10-year ampuversary coming up.

Speaker 3 1:56

That is correct. In October it was my 10-year.

Speaker 1 1:59

Awesome. Can you share with us your story?

Speaker 3 2:03

Yeah, so I got married to my wife my current wife about 12 years ago almost 12 years ago, and maybe it's 11. Anyway, we went to Cancun for not a honeymoon, but kind of a few months later, and I picked up a bacterial infection in Cancun. I had a blister on my foot and bottom line is, we came back from Cancun and I got sick. I thought it was just the flu or something like that, but it wasn't. And so I had various days where my hip hurt me, my back hurt me, my ankle hurt me. We got back from Mexico on Saturday. By that Thursday my ankle had swollen up and so I thought I better go to the emergency room. So I went to the emergency room and they aspirated my ankle and they said we're going to take you to the hospital and you're going to have surgery tonight. I said, well, on what? My back, my hip, my you know and they said we're going to clean out your ankle. I mean, you have a bacterial infection. We don't know what it is, but it's not good. So I said okay, and they actually said if I had gotten there a few hours later, I probably wouldn't be alive, but at any rate it took about.

Speaker 3 3:37

I was in the hospital for about three weeks. They were trying to find the right antibiotic to fight this bacterial infection. It got to the point where my temperature got up to 105.6. And I will tell you this, a nurse saved my life because she was the night nurse and the day nurse, you know. I said, isn't my temperature too high? I mean, shouldn't we be doing something? And she says, oh, I think it's okay, we'll let the doctor know. But then the night nurse came in and she said, oh no, not on my watch. And she proceeded to pack me down with ice everywhere.

Speaker 3 4:26

Anyway, she saved my life that night I was freezing, but she still saved my life. And then they found the right antibiotic that was working. It was very expensive. I remember it was $1,200 a day for this antibiotic and I was on a PICC line for six months and so I got out of the hospital.

Speaker 1 4:50

So a PICC line for those who don't know what's a PICC line.

Speaker 3 4:53

A PICC line is it goes through your arm directly to your heart and they use that as a port to feed the medication.

Speaker 1 5:03

And you're in the hospital all that time. The six months, no.

Speaker 3 5:07

I was only in the hospital for about three weeks.

Speaker 1 5:10

Okay.

Speaker 3 5:10

I got out. Then they wanted to do another surgery got out and one more surgery before the end of the year. But I had to go and pick up my antibiotics every week. I'd come home with this load to put in the refrigerator and then I could just hook it up to the port so that I could put it in the pick line myself. I did that until March of that year, so from October to March. They finally cleared me from that whole situation. So then I started, you know, trying to exercise and trying to get back in shape and trying to just do more, and it was okay and it was progressing. But around June and see, just to kind of give you a backstory I have neuropathy.

Speaker 3 5:58

Oh, you do In my feet, both of my legs, so I can't always feel things as much, especially on the periphery. But during the month of June, I mean, I was hiking and doing some things and I went on a hike and my ankle hurt like crazy. It just hurt real bad, like crazy, it just hurt real bad. And so for me to feel that number one was unusual because of my neuropathy. But it hurt. And so I went to the doctor and they said, well, we can rebuild your ankle, okay, and they would get a second opinion. So I went to what the place was called the Limb Preservation Foundation and their doctors, and so they they looked at it and the doctor said first of all, if you didn't have neuropathy, you wouldn't be walking around, you'd be in too much pain.

Speaker 3 6:55

You'd be in a wheelchair, but I was just trying to still do everything I could do. I was riding my bike, I was trying to do the things that didn't hurt so much. So, at any rate, after that around, you know, August, late August, I kind of came to the decision I had to meet with five different types of doctors a psychologist, a physiatrist, a psychiatrist, a physical rehab doctor and then the actual doctor that would perform the amputation, and they, as a team, decided whether I was a good candidate for this. But I knew that my zest for life and how much I wanted to play, if you will that they said, yeah, he's a good candidate, and I got to tell you so. Then you know, within the next two months, I had the amputation. In that October, so a year later from when I got sick, I had the amputation and it was the best decision I could have made.

Speaker 3 8:06

I mean the best, because my quality of life is every bit as good now, and maybe even better in some ways, than it was before the amputation. So you know, I looked at it as an opportunity to be able to move and be able to do the things I love, and so I've been able to do that. You know I haven't let anything slow me down, so we hike and bike and play a lot of pickleball. Every day I play pickleball.

Speaker 1 8:40

So, before we ask about the pickleball, what prosthesis do you use, or do you Well?

Speaker 3 8:45

I have a below knee. It's a below knee amputation, so I have. I mean just to get an idea, I mean this is my pickleball leg. Oh, right, so I use this for pickleball, and it's all about the foot more than anything else.

Speaker 1 9:03

Right.

Speaker 3 9:03

Then this is the socket that I use to go into. But it's, you know, I play softball here because I live here in Arizona six months, and so I play softball and I play pickleball, and I play golf, and I do everything that everybody else does.

Speaker 1 9:25

Oh my gosh, that's so cool.

Speaker 2 9:28

What was the learning curve?

Speaker 3 9:31

Well, you know, that's a good question, because when you have an amputation, you don't really know what you don't know.

Speaker 2 9:41

Right.

Speaker 3 9:43

So my very first socket that I was fitted in, I didn't like it and it didn't fit right and I just, but I didn't know how good it could be or not be. I didn't know about the types of foot, I didn't know about the different types of sockets that you can have, and so, again, you just don't know what you don't know and so.

Speaker 3 10:10

I went to some support groups through the University of Colorado. I went to one there, and then there's a group that I'm a part of called LIM 359, which means live in motion 359 days a year.

Speaker 3 10:25

and then the other six days you can be a couch potato, but so I'm a part of that group and it's a. They're both amputee support groups but they come from two different, uh, points of view. We actually run a children's camp for children with amputations in the summer, and so of course pickleball is part of that camp, especially for the older kids. So we do that. But it's just been a blessing. It's been an opportunity for me to give back to others, give back to those children, and they see me and I see that.

Speaker 3 11:08

You know it's, it's wonderful just a great reciprocity in what we are doing so awesome.

Speaker 2 11:15

So once you got the socket that fit right, then was it just natural, then Everything was easy.

Speaker 3 11:22

Well, I wouldn't say that I think there was a progression. I had to, well, basically get a divorce from my first prosthetist, so I had him for, you know, two or three months, and it just I just I don't know. I just wondered if there wasn't something better.

Speaker 1 11:46

Yeah.

Speaker 3 11:47

And someone connected me with you know, recommended somebody else and I thought I'm just going to go in and and see what they say and what they offer and and it sounded good to me because they were able to make my socket in a day and it fit so much better because it's really all about fit how well it fits and a person with amputation shrinks up during the day.

Speaker 3 12:12

So when you, a lot of times when I'm playing pickleball and it's hot out or it's warm out, you know I have to take off my sleeve and dry out and then put back my sleeve on and then add some sock ply to make it thicker because your leg shrinks up a little bit during the day and uh. So I've gotten used to that and it's been great. I found a prosthetist that got me into a real good foot, which was half the battle that could rotate a little bit, that would help me turn a little bit. And this one it's called an All-Pro and it has a little more flexibility. It's a little more soft, if you will, I can run faster and I can play pickleball a little better with it too.

Speaker 1 13:02

How did you first come to know pickleball? Were you playing before your amputation?

Speaker 3 13:09

Yes, I mean, I was playing before my amputation. Not very much you know, a little bit here and there. I mean it wasn't as popular as it is now, of course, but you know I started and I'd play maybe once a week. I kind of liked it, you know, at an indoor facility, nothing big. I didn't really start playing until well, once we bought a place in Arizona and we had 22 pickleball courts here in our community, oh wow.

Speaker 1 13:48

We're jealous. Yeah, I'm telling you, it's heaven.

Speaker 3 13:53

And you know, and of course in Colorado I mean we had the pickleball courts Shelly played at their Clement Park, which is real nice, and so you know we, me and my wife we play pretty much every day. My wife has really excelled and I mean I'm trying to keep up with her, but you know, we we played in a tournament, our club tournament, here in November, and her and I we lost in the bronze medal match. Hey, though 3.5.

Speaker 3 14:27

It was 3.5. But, you know, still trying to get better and better and better and improve. And I don't know for me, better and better and improve, and I don't know for me, that's what I want, you know, I want to continue to enjoy every moment of life that I have, because you just don't know, you know, I mean, I came close to losing my life, and so I look at the opportunity to to live a more fuller life with a full heart being able to.

Speaker 3 15:02

I think that's one of the things I love so much about being here in Arizona, too is it's a retirement type of community and so all of our friends have kind of come from pickleball here and so we travel with them. The friendships have really grown. I'm really trying to be intentional about getting to know people and getting to know their stories and listening to them and really just trying to live a fulfilling life here.

Speaker 1 15:36

That's beautiful.

Speaker 2 15:38

Yeah, thank you. That is when exactly are you?

Speaker 3 15:42

in.

Speaker 2 15:42

Arizona.

Speaker 3 15:43

We are in Northwest Phoenix in Surprise.

Speaker 1 15:46

Arizona.

Speaker 3 15:47

And it's a community called the Grand. Like if you've heard of Sun City, there's Sun.

Speaker 1 15:53

City Sun.

Speaker 3 15:53

City West. We're called the Grand. We used to be called Sun City Grand, but they changed the name to be just the Grand and that's where we are.

Speaker 1 16:04

That's brilliant. Yeah. What would you say are some of the biggest challenges you've had just in life, and maybe with an amputation or even without the amputation? What would you say have been some of your challenges, Boy?

Speaker 3 16:23

you don't ask easy questions do you no?

Life Lessons and Personal Growth

Speaker 3 16:29

You know, the biggest challenges in life are to. I mean, the thing is is I found that everybody has a story, everybody has obstacles to overcome, everybody has something, and so part of why we're here on this earth, I believe, is to support each other on this journey called life, that we can take it one day at a time and know that there are storms coming, there are bad storms coming, and you take those one at a time. You take them, you know, one day at a time, and you get through them. So for me, I mean, you know, having been married for 22 years and going through divorce, I mean that was one of the worst experiences I've ever had to overcome, but that was something that I had to overcome. But then, looking back on it, had I not gone through that, I would not have met my wife.

Speaker 3 17:31

That I have, and she is one of the most amazing women I have ever known. I am blessed tenfold because of her. She's incredible, emotionally intelligent like no other.

Speaker 1 17:48

Oh.

Speaker 3 17:50

But she really is. We're a good team, we're a real good team. Awesome, but yeah. So those are some of the challenges and obviously, you know, I just it's like if someone says to me oh, you can't do that, that makes me want to do it, okay.

Speaker 2 18:11

All right.

Speaker 3 18:12

Let me just see if I can do that. I mean, I have to laugh because with my current softball team you can have what's called runners, you know? So that like, if you get a base hit and you can get the first base on your own, then someone can come in and run for you. On our team there's two of us that really do most of the running the one-legged guy that's me and a 90-year-old. We're the runners.

Speaker 1 18:48

Oh, that's hilarious. That is so good. Yeah, we've talked with the co-authors of a book called In a Pickle about how to play with your loved one on the court without wanting to kill each other.

Speaker 3 19:09

Well, I'll tell you what. Have you guys read? The book the Pickleball Mindset.

Speaker 1 19:14

I haven't read that yet.

Speaker 3 19:15

Okay, let me tell you this is. Haven't read that yet. Okay, let me tell you this is a book you should get, okay, I mean, it is so good and so deep with really life lessons in pickleball, because it's all about that mental part of your game and the mental part of life and when you think about it. And then, of course, you probably saw this book over the weekend.

Speaker 1 19:43

Yeah, Interaction.

Speaker 3 19:46

That was one of the football players in the NFL playoffs was reading that on the sidelines.

Speaker 3 19:53

So I went ahead and ordered it. You know it's good so far. I really like it, but at any rate I just feel like, you know, pickleball gives us for me and my wife especially, it gives us an opportunity to really compete at a high level and to try to continue to grow and improve and get better, but yet at the same time to appreciate your opponents and appreciate, you know, the people you play with. I just so enjoy the social interactions of talking with people and their stories and seeing what everybody else has to overcome. And yes, I've had some things to overcome and mine are a little more. You know, obvious if you will.

Speaker 3 20:45

But but you know there's just as many things that other people have that we can't see right. You know of trials and tribulations that they've gone through and it's so interesting because so many people they don't share. They don't want to be vulnerable or open up, but when we do do that, there's a fullness and there's a relief of sharing a burden with somebody and listening and caring where that other person feels strengthened and encouraged. And so I really think that's part of the role that I have in life is to do that with others and I really like it like it. I like to talk to people, I like to listen to them, I like to hear their stories and ask them questions and see where they've come from. And so it's important because I mean, like I said, we only go through this life once and so let's hold on and walk on this journey together, because it's a lot easier with someone than by yourself.

Speaker 1 22:01

So true, and you have such a heart, a special education teacher, heart Right, chili, oh my gosh.

Speaker 2 22:11

And he sees that there's more to pickleball than just winning the game. Thank you, that's what I love, right.

Speaker 3 22:18

Yeah, I mean trash talk is my love language. I mean I love to kid people and tease them, you know, and have a good time and be able to laugh, and that's to me half the battle. I enjoy that so much. But I just enjoy pickleball a lot.

Speaker 1 22:41

It really touches my heart that I do see you as one of your roles on this planet is to open the hearts of others. I mean the fact that you're willing to be open-hearted. That's what gives everyone else permission to be open-hearted as well, and it means a lot to me that that's something that you embrace and have shared on so many levels. And certainly, it seems your amputation kind of opens the door even wider, because people would be inclined to want to hear your story, and then you can hear their story, and it's an interesting dynamic of what you've gone through.

Speaker 3 23:21

Yeah, that's true. I mean, people will ask, you know, sometimes they'll say well, if you don't mind me asking how did you lose your leg, you know. I mean that'll happen at times, but uh, you know, for the most part, some people they don't like Shelly, you know she didn't even notice that I didn't have a leg until later on.

Speaker 3 24:09

But everybody has accepted me here and knows me and you know they just know me, yeah, and there's so much more to your story than the fact that you had an amputation. I mean, it's just that life stories. Like you said, realtor, I love first-time homebuyers Because it's like I'm teaching them every little step of the way. That reminds me of when I used to teach and I also teach college. I still teach college. I work for Colorado Christian University and I work as one of their instructors for you know student teachers and so I have students that I'll observe online, watching them teach and giving them pointers and stuff like that. But it's just kind of a side gig that I have. Brilliant, that I enjoy, but I enjoy. So I play a lot, I work a little and I just try to enjoy life.

Speaker 1 25:08

That's a good balance. Yeah, that's a great balance. Play a lot, work a little. So what would you say is one important life lesson that you have learned, either on the court that you're taking into your life, or you've learned in life that you actually use on the court.

Speaker 3 25:26

That's good. I think it's the thought and the idea of being really present in the moment, because it's so easy to come into a game and think, oh gosh, so-and-so is better than me.

Speaker 3 25:43

You know, when you do that comparison thing you start comparing back and forth and it's like thing, you start comparing back and forth and it's like comparison never is a good idea, no, and so then I'm not focused on the point it had, I'm not focused on this, this play, right now, and and so as I, as I look at that, you know, just trying to be present in the moment, with focus and intentionality. You know, I'm focusing on this serve, I'm really focusing on, you know, getting up to the net or whatever it is. I want to be present and I think of that in life. It's like I want to be present when I'm talking to people so they feel I'm listening to them. I want to be present in the moments that matter with my daughter or with my granddaughter. I want to be there for them and if I can do that, then that's what life's all about.

Speaker 1 26:44

That's everything, yes, everything.

Speaker 2 26:48

Yes, when you said that today that was me on the pickleball court, oh, no, she used to be a D1 basketball player. She's better than me. Oh, you know, like doing that kind of stuff, comparing, which is so bad, and you're like you said, you're not in the present moment. You just need to be in the present moment. Yeah, not compare, do?

Speaker 1 27:08

your best? Yeah, the present moment. Yeah, I'm not compare.

Speaker 3 27:10

do your best, yeah, never well, yeah, I mean, and because you know everybody's at a different place. That's the other thing about pickleball you know there's so many different levels and you know it's great to play against people that are better than you because you rise to that level and you push yourself a little bit and it stretches you.

Speaker 3 27:32

But it's also good to play with people that aren't as good as you, because then you can help them and guide them and and encourage them, and so you know there's that's the great thing about pickleball is there's so many different people that you can be around and be involved with to both help you and that will help you and support you. As well as that, you can then turn around and help the other person right, nothing like it.

Speaker 3 28:01

There's nothing like it, yeah it's and what's so great is we can do it at our age.

Speaker 1 28:08

I know, I know, and even years from now, it's like being a kid.

Speaker 3 28:15

When I'm here in Arizona, it's like I'm going to camp. When I was a kid and all we do is play. Okay, I got golf on Wednesday, I got softball on Monday, I got pickleball, I got a group on, you know, from two 30. It's like our schedules are more busy here now than you know, and not to mention all the other things that I want to do.

Speaker 1 28:36

Yeah.

Speaker 3 28:36

You know that I know I want to be challenged with my wife. She's doing stained glass and she's doing I don't know, all these club things that it's like there's so much to do here and so it's so fun.

Speaker 1 28:51

Oh man, that's life. If you can make it fun and community and open hearted and I love your, your life lesson to be in the present moment. Wow, if we could all do that all day long, wouldn't this world be a different place?

Speaker 2 29:09

Thank you.

Speaker 1 29:11

Thank you for especially thank you, as you're being a teacher for special education, and for the way you continue to share your heart and your story and you invite others to share theirs. I don't know how many good listeners there are in the world, but boy when we come across a good listener. It just touches everyone's heart, so thank you for that.

Speaker 3 29:34

Well, believe me, I've had lots of lessons in that from my wife. She'll tell me if I'm not listening. Okay, honey.

Speaker 1 29:47

She's also a good teacher.

Speaker 3 29:51

She was actually a teacher herself.

Speaker 1 29:54

Oh, she is.

Speaker 3 29:55

She was. She used to teach sign language oh brilliant. She taught ASL and she worked for quite a few years at a high school and then she went to the School of the deaf and taught at that school in Texas and in Mississippi. So she's had a good career.

Speaker 1 30:17

Wow, you two make a good pair.

Speaker 3 30:19

Yeah, she's a good lady.

Speaker 1 30:23

And she's lucky too. I'm so glad. Thank you very much for joining us today. Shelly was just over the moon when she came back and it's so fun for me to meet you, and I suspect you all will be playing again next time she's in Denver.

Speaker 3 30:38

I hope so.

Speaker 2 30:39

When are you?

Speaker 3 30:39

coming back to Denver.

Speaker 2 30:40

I'm just in and out whenever I can get there to see my grandkids.

Speaker 3 30:44

So how many grandkids you got there?

Speaker 2 30:47

Two.

Speaker 3 30:48

Two yeah.

Speaker 1 30:49

One just recently born too, yeah.

Speaker 2 30:52

And not far from that park. So that's great. Nice, yeah, nice.

Speaker 1 30:57

Well, thank you so much, Brian. You're very welcome, really appreciate it. And thank you all. Oh my gosh, how inspired are you? You must be very inspired. So share your stories and be really good listeners for other people's stories too, and we'll see you on the court, looking forward to our conversation next week. Bye-bye everyone.

Speaker 2 31:18

Bye-bye. If you love our podcast, we'd be so grateful if you'd take a few seconds to follow or subscribe to Life Lessons from Pickleball. This ensures you'll never miss an episode and helps us continue these wonderful conversations.

Speaker 1 31:33

On Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen, go to the show page and tap the follow button in the top right corner, and on YouTube, click the subscribe button under any of the episodes. Thanks so much. Hope to see you on the court.