Health Challenges and Family Support

Speaker 1 0:00

Hi, I'm Shelly Maurer and I'm Cher Emrick. Welcome to Life.

Speaker 2 0:04

Lessons from Pickleball where we engage with pickleball players from around the world about life on and off the court.

Speaker 1 0:12

Thanks for joining us. Welcome everyone to Life Lessons from Pickleball. We are super happy to have with us today Ella Cosma and her mom, angie Cosma Ella, you are an up-and-coming rock star in the pickleball world.

Speaker 2 0:30

You are a Seattle native, just turning 16 next month, and have already made history as the first female to triple crown on the Junior PPA Tour. Wow.

Speaker 1 0:41

Wow is right, and in fact you've won the triple crown three times. Now I just I can't believe this. But wait before we get into talking about pickleball. We do understand that you have both had some real challenging health journeys and we wonder if you'd be willing to share some of that, because we know that those journeys have kind of been influential in your pickleball journey as well.

Speaker 3 1:08

So Ella was born with kind of a medical condition I don't want to get into too much detail just because it's, I don't know, tough to talk about some parts of it but she had a narrowing in her intestine which caused her belly to distend her intestine, which caused her belly to distend. Long story short, she had this until she was about the age of like I don't know, 12, 13. Yeah, and she had several surgeries. She had to get a ileostomy bad and she had that for almost a year.

Speaker 3 1:44

And also a sacostomy a year and a half and also a sacostomy to help.

Speaker 4 1:49

It was to flush out the colon. So the ileostomy bag disconnects the colon from the intestines and then the sacostomy connects. It's like a hole in the stomach with a little plastic thing on it. It's connected to the colon. So every week I would take an iv pull and flush out my colon with that sarcostomy.

Speaker 3 2:13

Yeah, wow, and up until it was healed we managed it with um diet and with different like miralax and different laxatives, things like that. And I think the most important thing to note is this inhibitor from playing sports. Just because her belly. It basically made her look like she was six months pregnant and, yeah, it kind of stunted her growth as well. And so just in the last two, three years I think Ella's grown like two feet yeah probably her body has really flourished.

Speaker 3 2:52

Yeah, when we started playing pickleball she was shorter than me and that was almost three years ago, and now she's like taller than me. You can't tell because I have a higher torso.

Speaker 4 3:01

She has a bit like I have a higher torso. She has a bit like I have a lot longer legs and she has a tall torso. So whenever we sit down she's a lot taller than me.

Speaker 2 3:10

How else did that impact you? Like your energy levels, like what were you able to do?

Speaker 4 3:16

So there, with the ileostomy bag, there was a lot of issues that would come up. So first of all, this is just kind of like a funny part is that's where. That's where I pooped from, like it's the intestine flipped on the outside of the stomach with a bag on it. But I couldn't necessarily control the time it would go, so I just like randomly fart in public, make a super loud noise.

Speaker 3 3:39

You never know, yeah, so I was always proud.

Speaker 4 3:42

It would fart and then I would start looking around like who did?

Speaker 2 3:46

that? Who was?

Speaker 4 3:47

that, um, and then, on the more serious side, sometimes the intestine would come out probably that long outside of which that's called the prolapse. Yeah, yeah, and it got pretty bloody and swollen one time I had to have a surgery to put it back in. But the way that you fix it is you pour sugar on it and then it goes back in. The time kind of differs. I feel like the shortest time was 45 minutes and the longest was six hours.

Speaker 1 4:17

Oh my.

Speaker 3 4:18

Yeah, and sometimes it got to the point where we couldn't have it shrink back in itself. So we had to take Ella to the emergency room, and sometimes we were staying there for over a week.

Speaker 1 4:29

Yeah.

Speaker 3 4:30

And as a mom I mean it was really hard because I know that it was painful for her. So it was hard to see her go through that as a kid who should just be having fun, you know, and enjoying her childhood. But the hospital time helped us bond a lot like I don't.

Speaker 4 4:46

I wouldn't erase it from my life. I'm glad that I had that experience. We got a lot closer through that. That's also why we have a lot of fun when we get to play together on the pickleball court. Um, but it's also.

Speaker 3 5:00

There's also good stories to tell yeah, Like I mean just painting our nails and singing Jason Mraz songs that were really uplifting and appropriate for that time, Like three things. You know like three things that I do when I'm down. That song and then have it all is a song that we also sang together in the hospital. Then we went to see his concert after like she came out of the hospital. He was here in Seattle that year. We went to see his concert after like she came out of the hospital.

Speaker 3 5:28

He was here in Seattle that year and, um, I also think that built Ella's like determination and level of appreciation and courage too, and you can really see that on the court. Uh, you can see her fighting spirit and you can see, if I like I don't know some of her matches. You can see her come back from two 10, you know to win and that I also get know some of her matches.

Speaker 1 5:45

You can see her come back from 210, you know to win and that I get that from her, though, and in fact, angie, I can see how, ella, you might have gotten this from your mom, because, in the midst of all this, you know, as a mom myself, I can only imagine how painful it is to be there with your daughter, who's going through the suffering that she's going through, and to be as the anchor and the strong one, and at the same time, you're going through your own medical challenges.

Speaker 4 6:16

Yeah, I feel like my mom always was really positive. Even when things were really bad, she it together really well and I know that must have been really hard on her. Um, my dad did stay with me a couple times, but it was mostly my mom who would spend the nights with me in the hospital and I know that with all the beeping machines and everything she probably didn't get a lot of sleep, but she was always there for me. I knew I could count on her, talk to her about anything and I really appreciate that she did that and she was working at the same time, so she was trying to do everything remotely and also take care of me.

Speaker 1 6:52

Oh, for heaven's sake, what was your work?

Speaker 3 6:55

I was at Microsoft. I had a contracting job at Microsoft on like a responsible AI team. I had an incredible boss and incredible team, so this is my opportunity to thank them. They also showed a lot of support for Ella, sending her like meals and gift cards, so the support has always been around. And we, we've so appreciate that we tell people we appreciate it but we really, really do, because it goes a long ways um.

Speaker 4 7:22

The time where we spent the most time in the hospital was probably like a month um. My fourth grade teacher actually came to visit me. Oh, I really appreciated that, and I also had friends coming in, so it was really nice. What was your school um Ben Franklin Elementary in Kirkland?

Speaker 3 7:41

nice, yeah, and this was during COVID and it made it a little bit more complicated because you couldn't have as many visitors and some of them have any visitors, really. Um, and then so her, her friends at school were making videos for her and taking pictures and sending them, and they had all written cards for her and sent it in one single envelope and then they would zoom right, they would like video conference and talk to each other and do art over video. So you get really creative.

Speaker 1 8:10

So sweet, took a village.

Speaker 3 8:13

Yeah, looking back, you do see that it takes a village.

Speaker 1 8:17

So was it after you became well then, ella, that you two discovered pickleball, or how did you discover pickleball?

Speaker 4 8:32

So I think so we discovered pickleball late June of 2022. So about two and a half years ago, and that the September before that is when I had my last surgery, so it's kind of just when I got better. We started playing. I had been doing tennis my whole life from my parents. They met playing tennis and then so they started us really young, I think when we were three or four. I have a brother and he got really good at tennis. He's really athletically talented, but I never really got into it. So I feel like stroke foundations were there, but they were growing a lot because there is like an outline and I had to fill everything in. But we bought the beginner starter pack of paddles from Costco.

Pickleball Progress and Resilience

Speaker 4 9:19

I don't know, Hard board ones practically. And then there was a river trail we would walk on almost every day and they had two pickleball courts off the side. It was near Redmond Senior Center, so we started playing there with the whole family. My mom wasn't super into it at first, but once she got hooked we just played the entire summer.

Speaker 1 9:41

It was really fun, were you also a tennis player, angie.

Speaker 3 9:46

Yes, I was. So I grew up in more of like a traditional Asian family where girls were supposed to do girl things and sports was for boys. So I was a rebel and I played tennis I think I'm a natural athlete and so I got in trouble. But I didn't care, I just kept playing. And I went and I played on my varsity tennis team and then I played on a community college team and then later just at Western on a team there. Wow yeah, I love tennis and I thought that was going to be my sport for life, until pickleball came. So you never know what life is going to bring you.

Speaker 4 10:30

She's also got to give herself some more credit, because she ran a lot of marathons too.

Speaker 1 10:35

Oh, my Shelly can relate. Yes I, yeah, I love to run too.

Speaker 2 10:42

So were you hesitant, hesitant, ella, to play pickleball in the beginning, or um, not really it was.

Speaker 4 10:48

It seemed more like a kind of game, and I had been trying to get into tennis more at the time, so I was. I was trying to get more athletic. Um, since I was better, I feel like we, when we started I couldn't hit the pickleball over the net, though Like I couldn't even make contact with the ball. So that's a lot of progress in two and a half years.

Speaker 5 11:12

That's a lot of progress Not to hit the net to winning triple crowns, that's quite a lot of progress.

Speaker 3 11:18

Yeah, so I remember we started just playing pickleball that summer and we played for nonstop. I'm sure most pickleball players can relate to playing for seven hours a day and kind of like if that's what we would do in our free time. And then people in our pickleball community were talking about tournaments, and so we signed up for our first one in september of 2022 so a couple as partners in women's doubles we signed up for 3-0 in our first tournament and we got combined with 50 plus in the division.

Speaker 4 11:54

So in our first match we played against some of the 50 plus ladies. I was so nervous, she was a little injured and we lost to them in the first one and we were like oh my god, they're so good, um, so that shows just like how ages don't really mean anything in the sport isn't that wild?

Speaker 1 12:14

yeah, it's really cool yeah, oh.

Speaker 3 12:16

and then we continued to sign up for tournaments after that, like we were hooked, yeah, and so by march of 2023 we signed up for 4-0 in like the Woodinville Shamrock Shootout Tournament and won gold in that In 4-0, yeah, in 4-0. Wow, so the progress was just what year was that. So our first tournament was September 20, 2022. So the next March and then then March uh 2023, um we won gold at 4.0.

Speaker 1 12:45

Wow.

Speaker 3 12:46

That was. I think that was like one of the biggest deals for us, One of our biggest wins.

Speaker 4 12:51

It felt like because our goal for a long time was to get to 4-0. We would go watch 4-0 matches and we really wanted to get there. So Wow, and then and then we just kept playing tournaments nonstop. Um, we played. Oh, we heard people start talking about PPA tour tournaments and golden tickets? Yeah, so we're like, oh, we got to get in on that. So for my birthday, I asked my mom and my dad if that could be my birthday gift. To go on one. Which birthday Ella? Which age?

Speaker 1 13:29

Your 15th 14th birthday 14th birthday 14th birthday.

Speaker 4 13:33

So in June of 2023, we went to our first PPA tournament, which was the Texas Open, and that was really fun. I met the other Ella that I played with in November there and we played together there and we made it to the gold medal match through the winner's bracket but we lost to people through the loser's bracket and I remember being so upset after that loss just because I really wanted to get a golden ticket together. And that was a really long day. I mean we waited four hours, I think, between the semi-final and and the final and it was hot.

Speaker 4 14:14

Texas humid sun but we made the most of it and we learned from it and later that year we actually got a golden ticket in Kansas city.

Speaker 3 14:22

Yeah. So I mean I would not take back the losses, even though, like, we cried about it because we put so much heart and effort into practicing and preparing for it and we really cared. But it really helped us continue to drill and try and get better and focus on our mental game and how we can play better together on the court. So there's just a lot of growth opportunities there. What do you mean?

Speaker 4 14:49

by gold and ticket, so in 2023, the USA PA Nationals and the PPA Nationals. They did one together and to get an entry into the division, to be able to play at Nationals, you had to win gold in one of the tournaments that they did around the country I see yeah.

Speaker 1 15:19

So the first time around no, but the second time around yes third time around.

Speaker 4 15:23

Yes, we actually went to seattle and we kept getting silver and you have to get gold. Yeah, the goldman ticket there was a mental block there and I think going through that helped my mental game a lot. I feel like I wanted it really bad, so I kind of broke down in the final match, but now I feel like I want it so bad and I kind of channel that into my matches now. So I think that those are really good experiences to have. Yeah.

Speaker 1 15:55

They are, aren't they? We tend to learn even more when we don't get what we're aiming for than maybe we learn when we do get what we're aiming for. And you certainly come from a great rebel DNA with your mama who says I'm going to play tennis, no matter what. Going to play tennis, no matter what. And then you're learning how to just drive through and keep going, even when you don't quite succeed. So now you're on the success train. Have you lost anything since then? Have you lost any matches?

Speaker 4 16:29

Of course. Of course I mean can't win them all. There's a lot of talented players out there, tournaments that I haven't meddled in, but every, every one is a learning experience and it just shows there's so much room for improvement and stuff to work on.

Speaker 1 16:48

So, for those who are really committed to pickleball but having a hard time managing the losses, what, what might you say to help people who are? What do you do when you don't win and you really, really, really wanted to win? Now that you are a win, you know you've been winning, but then you don't win. What do you do? How do you manage that?

Mental Game and Achieving Goals

Speaker 4 17:11

I think at first it's okay to be upset, like, let your emotions out, um, but then start thinking about, like, oh, did I play the best I could in that match? And if? If the answer is yes and it's, you should be proud of yourself, cause that means that you played well, but your opponent was just very strong and they did better at the time than you. Just very strong and they did better at the time than you. Um, I think, if the question no, if if the answer to that question is no, um, just think about what you could have done better and start working on it. And if you know that you have the shots to do it, um, maybe read some books about the mental game or think about timeouts you could have taken in the match and just say encouraging words to yourself when you're down. Because when I get down, I start talking to myself, especially in singles, like let's go, ella, you got this, come on. And if you lose a point, move on to the next one, because you can't win them all.

Speaker 1 18:11

So your self-talk is positive? Yes, it's, we can do this, I've got you, instead of oh no, what did I?

Speaker 4 18:17

do and it makes a difference right For sure, it's a lot of difference to me from my mindset before I think.

Speaker 1 18:24

You bet and Angie, are you the coach? Are you Ella's coach?

Speaker 3 18:37

I've never really thought of myself that way, but I think that she has learned from me like from tennis. We were really committed to getting out there regularly just hitting the ball, and her and her, her and well, her dad and me have always been very interested in activity from like skiing, which Ella is also very good at, swimming. She's done some running as well and we did, we did.

Speaker 4 18:58

I did a 5k when I was younger. I don't think she's running um.

Speaker 3 19:04

So I guess, um, just organically, like naturally, I would say so because we do talk about what, what, uh, what can be improved on. We find ways to do it. We watch videos, we read books, we work together on the court, and Ella is really open to always learning and improving, so it makes it easy. I can be stubborn, though, yeah.

Speaker 4 19:27

Can you?

Speaker 2 19:31

So, after you guys got the golden ticket, then what did your journey look like from where you are now?

Speaker 4 19:38

um, we got the golden ticket in Kansas City and then we signed up for the national championships in Texas, which was Brookhaven Country Club. Um, and we actually, um, um, didn't place, this was, this was three, five, because everybody kind of sandbagged in PPA at the time. Um, so we got, we lost to another mom and daughter team the first time.

Speaker 3 20:07

It was really close.

Speaker 4 20:08

I think it was like two out of three, I think we lost 9-11 in the third probably, and my ankle I think it was, was it was, it was very swollen because I had fell on it like the week before um but oh and then we lost to our friends from home and they played really good, but we were still really upset and, coming from that experience, we we had a really good conversation about why that happened and we we learned from it, kind of like the other one.

Speaker 3 20:38

So I feel like it was a combination of everything that's been building who we are as players yeah, we just realized we carry a lot of nerves in these big events where we put expectations on ourselves and we don't typically do well. But it's always fun to do them and you can learn a lot.

Speaker 4 20:57

And I think the next day I actually played with the other, ella Yeh, in the junior division and we won that together, so it was not such a great day. And then a pickup from that after our conversation yeah, Brilliant.

Speaker 2 21:13

And you've taken all this learning to now be this triple crown winner. It's amazing.

Speaker 1 21:20

So what does that mean? Triple crown what? What have you done to earn the triple crown championship?

Speaker 4 21:27

Um, so a triple crown is a win in singles, mixed doubles and women's doubles in in just any tournament in general. I actually had my first Triple Crown in an amateur tournament that was close to us in Lake Stevens, hi.

Speaker 3 21:43

Pablo Hi Pablo, we love Pablo. I got a 4-0 Triple Crown.

Speaker 4 21:47

There I played with my mom, I played singles and I played with my dad, so that was really cool.

Speaker 3 21:52

And I was like Dad, you're down, it's your turn.

Speaker 4 21:54

Yeah, mixed was the last, and we almost lost. I think we had a match that ended up being like 16-14.

Speaker 2 22:01

So, yeah.

Speaker 4 22:02

And then from there I played my first junior PPA tournament last year in June, so June of 2024. I ended up playing six events there. So I played three amateur events and then three junior events events and then three um junior events. I won women's with my partner Diane, mixed with my partner Nico, and then singles um, and then I actually won an amateur division singles too. So I ended up getting four gold medals there. Wow, that was really cool. And then I guess I that made me the first junior girl to triple crown on the junior PPA tour. The first junior was Ryder. He did it in the 12 and under division. He's also great. I got another triple crown at the USA Pickleball Nationals. So it's separate from junior PPA and everything. And then my third one was just last month in Palm Springs Masters PPA, which made me the first junior to do it twice.

Speaker 3 23:13

But the most remarkable thing about that was the night before Ella was supposed to fly out. I'm at work and I get a call from her dad. Ella's really not feeling well. I don't think it's normal. What should we do? I was like let's get her to the emergency room.

Speaker 4 23:29

So we go to the emergency room.

Speaker 3 23:31

We went to urgent care and it could have been multiple things. But we find out she had the flu and it was a really bad flu too.

Speaker 4 23:40

It kind of felt like I was dying at the time. I was like, oh, I need more medicine, painkillers, everything, um. So I actually I was supposed to play pro qualifiers and I didn't make it out to that. So I had about a week or five days until the junior events to to make it out play those. I thought I would have to pull out a singles because I was still feeling sick and even in the final I got really exhausted in singles and I'm really happy I was able to pull that one out.

Speaker 1 24:13

Um, yeah, yeah, that's very impressive. I mean, there's that there. Still see your mom's spirit in that too. It's all there. You both are just pretty remarkable people. In fact, I was watching your tournament the other day. Ella and one of the commentators said, yep, ella is the Anna Lee Waters of the junior PPA. And I thought, oh, we're pretty soon going to be saying Ella Cosma is the pinnacle, you know right now it's Anna Lee.

Speaker 1 24:46

Waters, but it won't be long till you give her a run for her money too. Very exciting. So now, with all this that you've gone through I mean the medical journey, having this village who supported you in so many ways, and then competing together and individually in pickleball what have you learned about life, or what life lessons have you learned, either on the court, that then you use in your life, or life lessons that you put into play on the court?

Speaker 4 25:23

I feel like, for like relating to the medical stuff, not giving up on things is really important. Like, if you have a goal, don't stop. If you get like a hiccup in the way, you know there's always something that you can do to make it better or achieve the goal in another way than you thought.

Speaker 3 25:45

I realize now that I had certain dreams and ideas for Ella.

Speaker 3 25:49

I didn't really impress them on her right, I've always let her develop into her own person, but I had certain ideas, like I always imagined seeing her or her brother on the tennis court and I'd be up in the stands watching them, things like that that I kind of left, you know, like open to. And so I think it's just like have your ideas, have your goals, but be open to like what life has to offer you, rather than having a narrow view, and you might really be pleasantly surprised, rather than having a narrow view. And you might really be pleasantly surprised, cause so Ella said she was stubborn, and I've learned that I'm stubborn, but I've kind of had to. I've needed to be in my life to get to where I am now. But now I'm kind of like letting go of my grip a bit and I'm not really trying to control things in my life and it's really neat to kind of see things play out naturally on its own and it's a lot more fun to live your life that way. Yeah, so true.

Speaker 1 26:49

So true, and it's a little bit like letting go. They say the best way to play. Is true, ella and Angie, that the more relaxed you are, the more relaxed your grip, the better you play? Is that true, except for your killer backhand, which I see is really tight?

Speaker 3 27:12

Yeah, I think it's part of being in the flow. You've practiced, you've prepared and you just got to trust yourself on the court. Because if you're saying like oh no, I need this point or I'm going to miss.

Speaker 3 27:24

that's going to make you tight Rather than playing where it's like you know, have you ever had where someone hit you a ball and it's out and you hit it back and it's like, wow, I just hit a really good shot? That's because you let yourself do it, you let your abilities and your muscles kick in, because that's what you're trying to build this whole time. That you're practicing is like the muscle memory, and so I think that's important just to like enjoy, but like a focused enjoyment on the.

Speaker 4 27:51

Yeah, I agree. Yeah, I wouldn't necessarily call it relaxed for me. I feel like when I'm, when I get really focused, I, I just focus on the ball and then, kind of like my mom said, let the muscle memory take over. I feel like a lot of people play better if they're relaxed, and I kind of think that ties into what I was saying. When you're relaxed, you're not really thinking about what you're doing, it's just happening.

Speaker 1 28:13

Just happening, that's so nice, inspiring. Inspiring.

Speaker 3 28:18

I think that's the best feeling in tennis is where it's like it just feels amazing, like you're in the flow when you're hitting the shots, and the same thing in running. It's like that runner's high that you get. It doesn't feel like running, it feels like you're walking on clouds and it's like that's part of the enjoyment in sports is that's what you've earned, is like the ability to go out there and compete.

Speaker 1 28:40

Mm-hmm.

Speaker 2 28:40

That's what you've earned is like the ability to go out there and compete.

Speaker 1 28:43

So how can people find you and follow you on this wonderful journey you're on?

Speaker 4 28:49

So we have a shared Instagram together where we post about our play and our journey and everything. It's Ella, angie Pickle, and then we each have our personals. My mom is more focused on her personal content, but it's Angie Cosma, and then I mostly put Pickleball stuff on my personal account now, so it's Ella. Sue, mostly Pickleball. It's Ella Sue, S-U-U. 23. And Sue is my middle name. It was my grandma's name.

Speaker 3 29:22

Yeah, so that's my mom's name and she's not with us. She passed away when I was three, but so I have passed that name on to Ella, so that's where it comes from. S-u-u, I love that Very nice.

Speaker 1 29:36

Well, thank you both. Oh my gosh, what an amazing journey you've been on, and we know it's just going to continue to be amazing and we're real excited for you both and, ella, you're a rock star girl. And we know your feet are always going to be on the ground, because you have an amazing family and you are an amazing woman who's already come through so much, and we're really excited about your future and it's fun for us to be able to know you and to follow you from here on out.

Speaker 3 30:09

So thank you both so much. I just wanted to thank a couple of people before we end. So we have some amazing supporters that we've met through social media that are just always sending encouraging, encouraging comments, and I'll let you share about um Maison oh, oh.

Speaker 4 30:27

So, um, there's this um woman named Farrah and she does these really cute um outfit designs on Instagram. So she she takes a bunch of different products and she puts them together and then she also has a few of her own, like what I'm wearing. She made this cute and then she's actually really generous she's sending me three outfits for my next tournament.

Speaker 3 30:51

Oh wow, so we love her, yeah she feels like a best friend, although we haven't met her, but we're going to make plans to meet her. So that's just one of the things that has come out of pickleball for us is all the friendships we've made for people within our community here and the people that we have yet to meet. And then I got we got this one sent to us. Um, let's get in a pickle together our mom and daughter team who, like, started this company as well.

Speaker 4 31:20

Yeah, they're um, I just yeah, we feel like sharing that because they're just so, like you said, everybody has like really cool stories and that's why you started this podcast and I just I love to learn about them thank you so much.

Gratitude and Future Conversations

Speaker 1 31:35

I appreciate you sharing that because it takes a village in pickleball too. So thank you for sharing that, because it takes a village in pickleball too. So thank you for sharing that Very cool and thank you so much for being a part of the show. Thank, you. And we want to thank everyone who's been listening and watching. Wow, these are two to be watching for a long time, and these names are going to be in lights forever. So thank you all for joining us, and we look forward to another conversation next week. Bye-bye.

Speaker 5 32:09

If you love our podcast, we'd be so grateful if you'd take a few seconds to follow or subscribe to Life Lessons from Pickleball. This ensures you'll never miss an episode and helps us continue these wonderful conversations.

Speaker 1 32:23

On Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen, go to the show page and tap the follow button in the top right corner, and on YouTube, click the subscribe button under any of the episodes. Thanks so much.

Speaker 2 32:37

Hope to see you on the court.