Introducing Ilana Long, Pickleball Novelist

Speaker 1 0:00

Hi , I'm Shelly Maurer and I'm Cher Emrick .

Speaker 2 0:03

Welcome to Life Lessons from Pickleball , where we engage with pickleball players from around the world about life on and off the court .

Speaker 1 0:12

Thanks for joining us . Welcome to Life . Lessons from Pickleball everyone . Oh my gosh . Today , we are so grateful to have as our guest Ilana Long . Ilana , you are the author of not just one , but two pickleball themed romantic comedies . I just love that Pickleballers , which is available right now , and your newest book , pickle Perfect , coming out in October of this year , 2025 .

Speaker 2 0:40

You're also the voice , the incredible voices , behind the hit audio version of pickleballers lana , your creative journey is as fun and fearless as your writing , from studying and performing improv at the second city in chicago to working as a stand-up comic sketch comedy writer , actress and author .

Speaker 1 1:03

Whether it's picture books , essays , essays in Chicken Soup for the Soul or laugh out loud fiction which I'm currently experiencing , which I love , you are a storyteller with a seriously sharp sense of humor , and even though you claim to have no eye-hand coordination , you still found yourself hooked on pickleball thanks to a friend who you describe as saying ping pong but standing on the table .

Speaker 2 1:32

You are a mom of twins so fun . I have twin grandsons so I know it's a fun adventure . A master of punchlines and split your time between Bellevue , washington and Puerto Vallarta , mexico .

Speaker 1 1:44

So we have a lot to cover , but let's start at the beginning . Was humor always a big part of your life growing up ?

Speaker 3 1:54

I always loved humor , you know . I mean I suppose I was kind of the class clown for a little while . You were , I didn't know about that . Yeah , you know , I mean , you know somebody had to be , and in high school I would write for the comedy like a comedy article in our high school newspaper . And then in college I did the same and I started in college joining the all-women's comedy group called Bloomers at University of Pennsylvania , where I went to college , comedy group called bloomers at university of Pennsylvania where I went to college .

Speaker 3 2:28

And uh , when I realized I really wanted to have a co-ed group , go , uh , so I started an improv comedy group there that's called without a net , with a friend of mine and that group is still going on at at Penn and also traveling , uh , touring the country sometimes , and so it's a really cool legacy to have . But , uh , and I just continued doing comedy all my life . I studied at Second City , like you said , and , and later on I just I , I really wanted my career to have to have comedy involved and I mean I guess being a high school teacher for a lot of that it was , but uh , intentional and unintentional , not intentionally um , but didn't have a lot to do .

Speaker 3 3:11

I did have to keep my sense of humor about me and uh , but I've always done acting and stand-up comedy and sketch comedy and a lot of comic writing , so I've really enjoyed all my life .

Speaker 2 3:23

Wow , can you remember the first time you made somebody laugh and that feeling that you like that feeling .

Speaker 3 3:32

I do , I actually have . Well , I have a real strong memory of my older sister and I . We used to play this game make me laugh , right , Make me smile , make me laugh . And we would try as hard as we could to make the other person . You would try to keep a straight face and then the other person would try to make you laugh , and so I could get my sister every time , and I knew exactly , I would toy with her a little , I would do things that would not make her laugh because I would be holding onto the thing that I knew was going to make her laugh . So it would build and build until she was like really ready to burst , and then I would say , hi , I'm Dr Staples , and I thought that was the funniest thing ever and I have no idea why , but it worked . And if I and I still I can can say to her we're on the phone and I'll pick up and I'll see it's her and I'll go hi .

Speaker 1 4:34

I love those , those lines that no matter what they will always get you every time that's so cool .

Speaker 3 4:40

You know we think of comedy as being so light-hearted , but how hard is it to be a comedian and take that on and without a net , your that joke work ? Does that joke not work ? I mean you can do it over time but with a different

Comedy Beginnings and Breaking Barriers

Speaker 3 5:14

audience it may have a totally different reaction and a very serious experience . For me , and when I was doing more comedy it was in the early 90s really , and at that point it was very much a boys club and it was very hard for me as a woman to be up there without falling into . Well , if I could just be crass like really , really low blue humor , I could get a laugh . But I didn't really want to necessarily go there . Guys could go there very easily , or many could , and but on me it seemed false and forced and uncomfortable . So it was , it was a challenge to find my niche , which was to eventually talk about being a teacher , talk about being a parent , talk about being . You know the things that are just about being a woman and you know about the experiences of being a woman . And those moments sort of helped me sort of find my niche there , once I finally finally figured out what it was that made me me and unique in standup comedy . That made me me and unique in stand-up comedy and I found the same thing with improv was that I had this feeling that I wasn't as funny as the guys and so I would be offstage and nervous about jumping on and coming in . It was about my confidence level . And eventually they would call me on . They'd be Alana , come and sit at the table , you're the blind date . You know you're the one who's waiting for the blind date .

Speaker 3 6:53

So I got sort of pigeonholed after a while into this part of being the straight character , the one who's waiting at the table for somebody funny to come in , and I could just be the straight character . So I found that those things were not working for me . I wanted to control my own trajectory in comedy and so I started to write sketch comedy where I had time to think through the jokes and time to create , and I wrote with a partner and she and I put on this show together for the Seattle Sketch Fest which was called Broad Comedy and the two of us . There's a bobcat just walked outside my window . Get out , a bobcat , are you kidding me ?

Speaker 1 7:37

No , your husband's outside .

Speaker 3 7:38

I saw it a week and a half ago and my husband is outside . He did not see it . Go tell him it has gone around the corner . It's gone away from him . But that is amazing A bobcat Wait in .

Speaker 2 7:50

Bellevue .

Speaker 3 7:51

Where are you in Bellevue ? I'm in Bellevue at Phantom Lake , you know . I mean , this is the same bobcat I saw about two weeks ago . I was sitting outside . This is a crazy story Defrosting a piece of salmon on a rock , hello .

Speaker 1 8:06

Hello .

Speaker 3 8:13

Is this one of your sketches salmon on a rock ? Hello , this is really just a true story but , I'm just going to go here .

Speaker 3 8:16

I'm going to go for a tangent , for a second , if I may , but defrosting a piece of salmon and this bobcat comes towards the salmon . But the first thought that goes through my mind is this is insane , first of all . First of all , I'm like , oh my God , a bobcat , make yourself big . And then the second thought that went through my mind was if that bobcat grabs my piece of salmon , I am fighting him for it . I'm going to whistle that damn piece of salmon out of that bobcat's mouth , because that is nice Atlantic salmon , that is an expensive filet and that bobcat better not eat my salmon . That's what I was thinking and did it . It kept going . It saw me get up and do my . My eyes are frightened of this . Make my kids go . Whatever , mom , I did it .

Speaker 1 9:04

Okay , just leave me alone I love that story and how amazing that we got to be a part of this , but we're keeping this in the show , you know this is awesome .

Speaker 3 9:16

I don't know what I was talking about before the bobcat walked past we're starting to write your sketch comedy , your sketch so my friend and I , we presented sketch comedy .

Speaker 3 9:27

We can write our own characters and we could put it on . And that was a much more comfortable space for me because I felt like we could try it out in front of an audience . And then I had a collaborator , I had a partner , and we would say oh , that worked , that didn't work , and let's tweak this and let's fix that , and then let's present it again . Okay , now here's how it goes , next step . So it was a much more for me , a much more unified process and much more comfortable for me to go through that experience , yeah , and in depth .

Speaker 1 9:54

And when I think about the 90s I remember the phrase you know , women can't be funny . So you were really coming up during that time where you had to just kind of break all the ceilings .

Speaker 3 10:03

Yes , yes , it was . It was really hard , I mean . And the truth was one of the things that I did discover when I was in college was that at college , the all male comedy group which was called Mask and Wig , I actually went and I thought they are so funny , they get all the laughs , they get huge audiences . So one time I actually I was dating a guy who was the head of Mask and Wig , but he wasn't going to come to the audition . So I thought I'm going to audition , I'm going to dress up like a guy and I'm going to go and put on a cap and I practiced my walk and I like , and I and I went in and I did an audition and I thought they're going to discover me .

Speaker 3 10:46

But not only did they not discover me , on my way out I heard my name was Dennis and I heard somebody say oh , dennis is really funny . And so I go back and my name is on the callback list Dennis , whatever my last name was and I was like , yes , I'm going to get a mask and wig and I'm going to just be me and be in mask and wig . Well , I come back from my callback and my boyfriend is sitting at the table for the auditions and I'm like , oh , he is definitely going to recognize me Maybe .

Speaker 1 11:22

You're still dressed as a man for your callback . Dressed as a man .

Speaker 3 11:25

Yeah , and this was like really bad . This is late eighties where I was like trying to do my Ferris Bueller's day off impression with the cap and the letter jacket . So I get in there and I no sooner opened my mouth . I barely got anywhere . When he says hey , take off your hat , and I'm like take off my hat , and he goes . Oh , I knew it . Two guys fall off their chairs in laughter .

Speaker 1 12:00

You should have gotten that . You should have gotten that .

Speaker 3 12:03

That's when I started that co-ed group and I was like you know what ? We're still going to do this thing , just not this way . Way

Finding Her Voice Through Writing

Speaker 3 12:09

, I'm making my own thing , oh that's funny , so funny .

Speaker 1 12:13

Good for you . Wow , that takes a lot of courage to do that . Yeah , even more than stand-up actually , funnily enough .

Speaker 3 12:22

You know that sort of thing , like I always try to think outside of the box , like how am I going to get my comedy out there ? How am I going to ? You know , my hope had been one day to get onto Saturday Night Live , but that's so out of my control . Whether I get an audition or don't get an audition , what is in my control ? Writing , writing , writing , writing , writing and not giving up , and sending out 134 letters to agents and waiting for things to come back and getting rejected and rejected and going . This is in your control , Alana . You keep going and you can get this . And finally hearing from an agent who was yes , let's do this , and from Penguin and Berkeley and them saying we want this and having the right timing and the right book , and boom , you know , I just think it was about persistence and saying it wasn't working the other way . So I'm going to do this this way .

Speaker 1 13:13

So Well , congratulations .

Speaker 3 13:16

When did when ?

Speaker 1 13:16

did the agent say yes ? When was that ?

Speaker 3 13:18

Well funny , the agent said yes about eight years to a different book that was about a pandemic and it was finally ready in 2020 . And when it got out to publishers , it was not a comedy . The publishers were like no , no , no , no , no , no , no Too soon , too soon Too soon , too soon .

Speaker 3 13:48

So my agent said to me I was crushed and she said oh , write something . You're a comedian , write something funny , write something about something you love . And Pickleball was just just on the edge and I happened to have been playing it already . I started during the pandemic Well , a little before the pandemic , but I really began to love it during the pandemic well , a little before the pandemic , but I really began to love it during the pandemic . Because we could all I'm sure you probably had the same experience we could be outside and sit apart and thank God for an extrovert like me who really needed that kind of social interaction and a laugh . And you know , I'm not an athlete , but these it just it was the right thing for me . I was , you know , older than 50 and had never played a competitive sport , had never played a sport with eye-hand coordination . You know I'm a swimmer , because you can't fall . So that's about all I do and you don't feel yourself sweating too much In the water .

Speaker 1 14:55

So how were you actually introduced to pickleball ?

Speaker 3 14:58

You know . So I have a friend . I was living in Costa Rica because I love to travel and I love to live in other countries and I was teaching at an international school . My husband and I were living there and my kids were attending the school there when they were in middle school and somebody said to me . A good friend of mine said oh , I've been playing this sport , I'm so obsessed . And she described pickleball as like ping pong standing on the table . I said that sounds really stupid . She's offended , she's like it's not . And she said when you come back , you're going to play it with me and you're going to see . And I was like , oh , okay , all right , fine , and . And I did .

Speaker 3 15:43

And oh , yeah , I got hooked . I got hooked and mostly on the community and just on people who I know . You know , I just feel so happy . You know , I'll admit I am not a great pickleball player . I'm an OK pickleball player and I work really hard at it , pretty much kind of like I work hard at anything I put myself out there to do and I'm certainly better than I was . But I'm kind of coming to a point where it's okay that I'm never going to be the best pickleball player . I just really enjoy the experience and the community and the fun of it .

Speaker 1 16:17

I love that about the game . You don't have to be super good to still have just the best time , and I can lose every single game and still feel like , oh , what a privilege it was to be able to play today .

Speaker 3 16:29

You know , I just have to win one .

Speaker 1 16:32

I just don't want to get pickled .

Speaker 3 16:39

I just can't . I can't leave if I haven't won one . So I have to look around the court and find somebody who has , like you know , a paddle made out of like a spoon . I'm going to play with you , against you . Okay , with my paddle .

Speaker 1 16:51

Have that sense of victory .

Speaker 3 16:53

Right , you have to play with a blindfold . Okay , I need to win .

Speaker 1 16:59

Oh , that's hilarious .

Speaker 2 17:00

So how did Pickleballers come to life then ?

Speaker 1 17:03

The book yeah .

Speaker 3 17:05

Yeah Well , um , you know I think a lot of it was number one , the pandemic . Number two , the science fiction book that I wrote that kind of went nowhere . And number three was I was talking with my daughter and she said the most popular first dates is , and I said no , I don't know . She said well , it's pickleball , because it's , you know , there was super low pressure and it's just fun and relaxing and people have a good time with it and so Pickleballers the book sort of came about by my thought of like , well , wouldn't that be a great place to meet somebody and to have you know a first date or first or get to know someone , because it is so social and because we all , like you know , we we play with such a diverse group of people Everybody is . I would never meet these people in my day to day life .

Speaker 3 18:05

I feel so fortunate to have the opportunity , especially across age lines . You know I really am so happy to play with very young people , to play with very old people and medium old people like myself and , you know , just have that kind of like opportunity Also to play with people who've had such vastly different experiences in life than I have . And you know there's . There is a considerable amount of waiting when you're waiting to play in a big group and you just start talking to people and you get to know people who you wouldn't have . And I've become very dear friends

Becoming a Pickleball Player

Speaker 3 18:46

with . Some of the people who I started playing pickleball with I guess that was six or seven years ago have become very good friends of mine .

Speaker 3 18:54

You know , outside of Pickleball and within just , and it's interesting , it's just . I love that idea of that . And also there's so many quirky people in Pickleball . I know it's really fun , isn't it ? I'm quirky myself , right , there's a lot of quirky people . And that's actually what tipped me off that this was going to be the book , because one of those first scenes where everybody's on the court and there's all these players named Dave and they're all named Dave , right and uh , and so that to me is it was was very funny just to just . I really did meet all these pickleball Dave's and then I was like , oh , my goodness , I think , I think there's a , there's a book here I'm going to write about it .

Speaker 1 19:36

So give a synopsis of pickleballers .

Speaker 3 19:40

Okay .

Speaker 3 19:40

So Meg , who's just recently gone through a divorce , and her , her dear friend Annie , says to her come on , I'm going to take you out on the pickleball courts and you're going to learn something new and we're going to have a good time and we'll hit away all your frustrations . And she gets dragged out there . And she does find after a while like six months or so that she really enjoys it and starts loving this new community and finds her way there . Well , in the meantime she is still continuing her art business when she has this very romantic sort of one car seat experience with a stranger in her front seat of her car who's trapped in a seatbelt . It's a long story , no , not really , it's a short story . So she has this sort of fling and it sort of wakes her up to the fact that she's a sexual being and still wants to sort of have a love relationship in her life , despite the way her marriage went , and she's like , oh well , I'll never see him again .

Speaker 3 20:46

That was fun , the pickleball courts with her new community . When she finds out that this very same guy is the one who's hoping to take down those pickleball courts and bring them back to nature , which has replaced the natural setting that they used to be and , uh , so he becomes sort of the enemy of the pickleball players . But she still has a soft spot in her heart for what he's trying to do in the world but also doesn't want to like ruin this new community that she's just met . So the bulk of the action then moves to Bainbridge Island , where she goes to and just where Pickleball originated , and that's just such a lovely place to set the story . I just really enjoyed setting it there .

Speaker 1 21:31

And your voices , because you are a comedian and an actress , you could do all the different voices so beautifully . Thank , you .

Speaker 2 21:39

Thank you so much . I highly recommend to listening to Pickleballers on Audible . It's so good , it's so entertaining and it's so full of funny humor . I like listening to it so I can really process the humor and just laugh , like when you said that meg um , when meg's husband broke up with her on the back of a home depot receipt . I mean , just like there's so many fun lines like I can't forget that it was so funny . I come home and on the back of a home depot receipt- I can't do this anymore .

Speaker 2 22:11

Like , how do you even think of that ? That was so funny .

Speaker 3 22:14

Well , it's funny because later on in the book he comes up to her and she's like how could you do that on the back of a Home Depot receipt ? And he says , well , in my defense , I did try to find a notepad .

Speaker 1 22:28

Oh well , then okay Jerk .

Speaker 3 22:39

I just you know , it's funny that you should mention that moment , because that moment I was thinking like what is the most selfish thing he could possibly do ? And that was kind of the worst I could think of , and it was for a caulking gun too , and she was like , what was he caulking ?

Speaker 2 22:54

She didn't even know he was caulking , I don't know what he was talking .

Speaker 3 22:57

And it just the word caulk

Creating the Pickleballers Novel

Speaker 3 22:59

is . I'm just like I have to use the word . I just have to .

Speaker 1 23:07

Oh yeah Well , we highly recommend this book and can't wait for your next one to come out as well . Oh , my gosh , oh yeah , tickle Perfect .

Speaker 3 23:14

That's coming out October 28th . I'm so excited for it . And can people pre-order ? Yes , I would love if people pre-ordered . You can pre-order at penguinrandomhousecom , but if it's easier , you can go to my website and order both books ilanalongcom , that's I-L-A-N-A-L-O-N-Gcom , and also I'm on Instagram at ilanalongwrites . I had to think about it and actually there's two giveaways going on right now . One is on Goodreads for Pickle Perfect and there's another one on Instagram at ilanalongwrites and that's for a copy of Pick Alana long rights and that's for a copy of pickle ballers . So awesome .

Speaker 3 23:56

Those out can find those giveaways .

Speaker 1 23:59

Awesome , and we'll put those in the notes as well . And so , with all this that you've gone through in your life on and off the court , what life lessons have you gleaned ?

Speaker 3 24:10

Okay , you know it's interesting because a few things , if I may . So one is that pickleball itself is something that brought me the awareness that I need to be more open in my friendships and that they span . My friendships do not have to be limited to people who are exactly like me . They can be more open . And since I started Pickleball , I have friends who are older , I have friends who are younger , I have friends who are very different kinds of professions than I am , and just I have learned so much . It has opened me up to being a person who is more open in her community , thinking and just how I can be like that . So that's one .

Speaker 3 24:59

The next thing I realized is that it's never too late . It's never too late . Like I said , I was not an athlete . I was kind of an actress and I did some painting and some music and some singing and some acting and that sort of thing . But I was kind of an actress and I did some painting and some music and some singing and some acting and that sort of thing . But I was not . I would not have said I identify myself as an athlete , but now I would say I'm a . I'm a sports person . I wrote a sports comedy , for goodness sake . So it's never too late to start a sport .

Speaker 3 25:29

I started after I was 50 . I didn't have my debut novel . I started writing . I mean , I've been writing for a long time , but it's never too late to keep pushing and thinking you're going to get published .

Speaker 3 25:40

Most of the authors of romantic comedies are considerably 20 , 30 years younger than I am , and mine is being . My first debut was published at at I was 57 when Pickleballers was published , and so this is a big lesson for me that this is not something that you can no longer do . Oh , you've passed the point where you can do these things Pickleball and writing and being a published author with a major publishing house these are things that I did later in life . Author with a major publishing house these are things that I did later in life , and I just started a new venue . Also in doing I used to do a lot of singing and songwriting and guitar and piano playing Put it to the side , right , who knew ? And now I've picked all those things up again . I've written a lot of new music and I'm finding that very satisfying . Also , you know , in the last year or two started doing those things again that I haven't done in more than 30 years .

Speaker 1 26:39

So Wow , my goodness , you're an inspiration , my friend . Thank you .

Speaker 3 26:47

And one other life lesson that I remember was something that Rooster said in the book and I'm going to try to do Rooster's voice here , because I actually love doing Rooster's voice . He said life's like pickleball you got to release the bad habits and patterns before you can move forward , and that sort of always . I mean when I wrote that she was talking about this bad serve that she had and she kept trying it and kept trying it . And I actually had that bad serve where I would stand sideways and I refused to let go of it because I knew how to do it . And my husband , who's an instructor , said you know , if you just face forward , I promise you you're going to get a better serve out of it and I'm like my serve's great . So finally I tried the other way and , granted , it took me a long time because that pattern was so ingrained in stand sideways and serve that works .

Speaker 3 27:44

Once I released that , it really was like life . Once I felt like , ok , I don't have to keep doing that , even though I'm used to doing whatever . That is that bad habit , that bad pattern . Even though I'm used to it , I don't have to continue , I can try something different . So I mean , even with , like , deciding to try to get an agent after I've been , you know , rejected and rejected and rejected . That doesn't mean that every time that's going to happen .

Speaker 1 28:10

If I'm trying the good habit now , it might work the next time and it did awesome , awesome , yeah , and you and shelly are going to see each other on the court I just have to ask one last fun question .

Speaker 2 28:26

Yeah , so if pickleballers is ever on netflix , who do you want to play the lead roles ? Who would you envision ?

Speaker 3 28:35

Gosh , you know . Oh , my gosh , I can never remember her name . She was the lead in Bridesmaids . So funny , you know . But or somebody of that ilk , you know , sort of self-effacing , a Tina Fey type of character . You know , but I really want to play one of the other characters in it , maybe Ethan's mom . I think I really really have to play it , you have ?

Speaker 1 29:05

to be in it . No question , that's part of the deal , right ? I'm sorry .

Speaker 3 29:12

You know I've signed here . Okay , Even if it's tiny , tiny , I want a cameo .

Speaker 1 29:18

Oh , that's so fun . Yeah Well , this has been a hoot as much as your books are pickleballers , everybody Pickleballers you can get that right now .

Speaker 3 29:27

And then in .

Speaker 1 29:28

October pickle , perfect . Yes , oh my gosh . Thank you , this has

Life Lessons from Pickleball

Speaker 1 29:35

really been a lot of fun and we're thrilled to be able to let people know more about your work , your comedy and your books Very , very fun , thank you both .

Speaker 3 29:45

This has been a blast . Really enjoyed it .

Speaker 2 29:47

Thank you very much .

Speaker 1 29:49

And thank you all . Go get that book . You are going to love it , and you very much . And thank you all . Go get that book . You are going to love it , read it . You want the paperback , but also listen to it . The voices are hilarious and so is the comedy of the writing .

Speaker 3 30:02

You might have to get both , because the paperback has such a cute cover and the audio has my own personal narration . So Pickleballers is great in any form that you get .

Speaker 1 30:11

I love that Ilana . Good for you and for those who are watching on YouTube . You can see the covers behind Ilana . They're really awesome art . So , yeah , very cool . Well , thank you , what a fun day . Thank you all , and we look forward to another conversation next week .

Speaker 2 30:26

Bye-bye .

Speaker 1 30:28

Bye .

Speaker 2 30:29

If you love our podcast , we'd be so grateful if you'd take a few seconds to follow or subscribe to Life Lessons from Pickleball . This ensures you'll never miss an episode and helps us continue these wonderful conversations .

Speaker 1 30:43

On Apple Podcasts , spotify or wherever you listen , go to the show page and tap the follow button in the top right corner , and on YouTube , click the subscribe button under any of the episodes .

Speaker 2 30:55

Thanks , so much Hope to see you on the court .