Welcome And Book That Gives Back

SPEAKER_02 0:00

Hi, I'm Shelley Maur. And I'm Cher Emmerich. Welcome to Life Lessons from Pickleball.

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Where we engage with pickleball players from around the world about life on and off the court. Thanks for joining us.

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Before we get started, we have something really exciting to share. Our book, Life Lessons from Pickleball, is now available on Amazon, and a portion of every sale is donated to Operation Paddle Lift.

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Your purchase helps deliver paddles, nets, and resources to underserved communities around the world.

How Pickleball Connected Two Strangers

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Thank you for being a part of Growing the Game We All Love. Now let's jump into today's episode. Welcome everyone to Life Lessons from Pickleball. Today we are absolutely honored to welcome Nikki Baker and Sherry Murfree, whose story shows just how powerful compassion and community can be.

SPEAKER_01 0:53

Nikki is a retired FedEx leader, certified level two IPTPA instructor, coach, and passionate ambassador for the game. Sherry is a retired healthcare executive who spent many years leading Willow Crest Hospital and Moccasin Bend Ranch, serving children and adolescents through mental health care.

SPEAKER_02 1:14

What makes their story so extraordinary is that even though Nikki and Sherry were not lifelong friends, when Nikki learned through their mutual pickleball friends that Sherry was in desperate need of a liver transplant, Nikki stepped forward.

SPEAKER_01 1:30

Nikki and Sherry, we are so grateful to have you both here today. Take us back. How did pickleball first come into your lives? Would you like me to start first? Go ahead. Thank you.

SPEAKER_03 1:41

Okay. Um I am a COVID kid. So I started playing pickleball, I believe, around 2020. So I actually had a friend that said she was meeting another group of girls out outdoors to play. And I'm like, pickleball. Oh wait, I've heard of that. Can I join? And she was like, okay, sure. So my first paddle was, you know, might have cost$25. Yeah. Just going outside, outdoors to to play on whatever courts we could find. And we were just trying to hit a ball around. And I think after the first night, I was hooked. I come from I played high school tennis, I played collegiate softball. So I have a sporting background, and I thought pickleball, hitting that ball was so much fun. And I really enjoyed the camaraderie with uh the girls I was playing with. And um before I knew it, I was out almost every night after um after work because I started in the summer. So it must have been June or July in uh in 2020. So I've been playing ever since.

SPEAKER_02 2:54

Awesome.

SPEAKER_00 2:55

Sherry, how about you? Well, I was introduced to pickleball through some friends and I'd started taking lessons actually and really enjoyed the game, and then I began to start getting ill. And so I haven't picked the paddle back up, but I've met a lot of great people and I love to go watch the tournaments. It's a lot of fun.

SPEAKER_02 3:14

So tell us, Sherry, how did how did your illness come about? When did what did you first start noticing? And um tell us the beginning.

SPEAKER_00 3:22

I had been told by doctors that you have a fatty liver, and I don't know what that means. So I just every year they said, yeah, it's still fatty. And then I started not feeling well, and I went to some doctors, nobody could figure it out. And um finally I got with a doctor in Oklahoma City and didn't feel comfortable with him either. And so then I went to Mayo, and Mayo is the one that actually said, you have cirrhosis of the liver. It's it's serious or it's wasn't serious at that time that I needed a transplant, but within six months it was already getting kind of scary. And about a year later, it was pretty much life or death. And that's when Nikki came to the rescue.

SPEAKER_02 4:05

Before we go to Nikki, Sherry, for those who are not familiar with liver disease, what were some of the things that you were living with as you were getting more and more ill?

SPEAKER_00 4:16

It anybody can have liver disease. Um, I have rheumatoid arthritis, and a lot of the medications I've been on throughout my life has helped destroy my liver. And I don't have the best diet, and that was a factor. Um, but yeah, you kind of start, you start getting a brain fog. You can't put your sentences together, you forget things, you're tired all the time, but you can't sleep. And um, I was sleeping, I was thrilled if I got three hours sleep a night. Usually it was more like two hours, and a lot of time that was just intermittent to then had to get up and go to work. So I was constantly exhausted. It was it was a hard, hard thing to figure out how to live with.

SPEAKER_01 5:03

Yeah. Oh. And Nikki, when did you first hear about Sherry's situation?

Becoming A Living Liver Donor

SPEAKER_03 5:08

I can't remember. Sherry, do you remember what when it was exactly?

SPEAKER_00 5:12

I mean, it's No, I really don't. It was in the summer of 2024 because that was the one time that I had met you. You were at at our house.

SPEAKER_03 5:21

And um I think yeah, I think it was probably late September, I think, Roxy came to me and uh we had been playing. Roxy is a mutual friend of yours, or she's my partner. Roxy's, yes, Sherry's partner. And Roxy had come to me and asked if I would help her try and figure out a way to get word out that Sherry was really sick and they were looking for a live liver donor. They had had a couple people attempt um to test and had for one reason or another, the mayo had turned them down. And so uh I was talking to Roxy and I said, you know, social media is always a good thing unless you're afraid to put the information out there, and that's a good way to start. It's a good way to get things spread and and say you're searching. And so we we kind of briefly discussed some ideas, and then probably three or four days later, um, I had mentioned something to Tracy, my wife, and we talked about it, like I said, again, rather briefly, but I I just felt like it I needed to at least try. I needed to look into what all was required to see if I could be um a possible match and help Sherry. The first thing you have to do as a live liver donor is you have to be one your blood type typically sh needs to be either matching the candidate or type O. And I was pretty sure mine was type O. And so I ended up getting blood work done to make sure that I would be someone that could be considered as a candidate. And then um, once you get through that, you have to pass a series of many other questions. I mean, the mayo is pretty thorough. You have to meet BMI, you have to give them your history, your back history of your health. And then if you complete all the boxes and they check them off and say you qualify, then I went in October for three days of testing all day. Um, I went through various um anatomy tests, I mean a scans, excuse me, through MRI. And they had to check my heart, lungs, liver. I had to do, oh gosh, what all did I have to do? I had to do additional blood work. I had to do an evaluation with one of their counselors, I had to meet all the doctors. I ended up having to do a fitness test. So it's pretty extensive. I mean, they are definitely wanting to make sure this is something you're physically able to do and that you're mentally and emotionally prepared for. And the the thing that I find fascinating is that Mayo Clinic has it set up for the live liver donor that at any point if you are uncertain about your donation, you have the ability to opt out, which I think can make it um even more challenging for those in need, because you know, you think you have found your match, and then something happens potentially, and the donor um has decided it's just not in their best in best interest because it's a major surgery. I mean, Sherry and I were both in surgery for several hours, and there's there's no guarantee when you go into something like that, you just have to go in with the idea that everything's gonna be okay. And I felt like it was the right thing that I needed to do. I felt like I had a lot of support for my family in the community. Um, my wife, when when we went in April, she was sending out text threads. She had like three or four active threads because I had so many people on them, we couldn't put everyone on one thread because I had people reaching out wanting to know how I did, praying for us both. I was a little bit Adam, you know, at the beginning. As it got closer, I was a little nervous. But I always felt like I knew that it Sherry and I were gonna be okay. I just really felt like it was what I needed to do and um it was going to be good for both of us, and our outcomes we were ultimately gonna be fine in the end. Wow.

SPEAKER_02 9:41

Wow. Now you knew each other really well or you did not know each other really well?

SPEAKER_03 9:46

We didn't really know each other that well. We'd only met maybe once or twice. I knew Roxy really well because I played against her and with her in pickleball for five, four or five years prior. And so I knew I've known known Roxy and her twin Ronnie for several years. But Sherry's health was to the point where she wasn't able to, she wasn't participating in some social events, so I wasn't I wasn't getting a chance to really see her.

SPEAKER_01 10:16

Sherry, what was it like to when you heard that Nikki was willing to do this for you?

SPEAKER_00 10:21

To say I was blown away is putting it mildly. And, you know, just like Nikki had the um apprehension at times, I you know, I could feel that that and I knew that she could back out anytime. So I had kind of some anxiety over that too, and I just tried to keep it out of my mind and just thought, you know, what's meant to be is meant to be, and I'll deal with whatever comes. And fortunately she didn't back out on me.

SPEAKER_03 10:47

I I never was going to do that. That that really wasn't an option. I mean, I know I got a little bit nervous, I think that's probably to be expected, but once I committed that I was gonna do it, there was no backing out. Yeah. I couldn't imagine doing something like that to someone, giving them so much hope, and then at the last minute changing my mind, that wasn't an option. It it takes quite a person to to do that. Yeah. Thank you. Yeah, thank you.

Surgery, Scars, And Regeneration

SPEAKER_02 11:15

And the procedure itself, are you in the same operating room?

SPEAKER_00 11:20

No, Nikki went first, and because they have to take hers out, then they take because I actually went to see Nikki before she went back, and then I got sedated and all that good stuff, and we're in two separate operating rooms, and we each have our own set of doctors. And I picture them just going back and forth. I don't know how it all worked out, but yeah.

SPEAKER_02 11:40

And just a portion of the organ was taken or the whole thing?

SPEAKER_00 11:45

It's we to 70%. They take 70% of the donor's liver and give it to the recipient, and within seven days it's already almost generated to full size again.

SPEAKER_03 11:59

Wow. Yeah, it's amazing. We ha we have two liver lobes, and so that's what also makes uh live liver donation more complicated, because they take a portion of one of the lobes. And so if the lobes aren't close enough in size, then that can disqualify you as a donor. You can match in every way and discover that, like for me personally, if one of my lobes, so for example, out of 100%, if one of them was occupying 70% of a hundred and the other lobe was only 30%, they would need to take um two-thirds of that larger lobe, and it wouldn't allow me enough remaining for me to be fine after. And so it I just so happened to have mine, they were like 4951 or 5050 or 4852. They were so close in size that they were able to take um a good portion from the one that was slightly larger, and that portion is what went to sherry. And it and it usually does take um it, I mean, it starts regenerating immediately. That's why after surgery, uh a donor is so exhausted. Like the male makes you get up and walk pretty much immediately within within 24 hours. They have you try and get you walking, but it takes everything in your body to do that because your body is working so hard to regrow that. It's the only organ in our body that regenerates. And so it's taking all of your body's energy just to try and grow it back. So it it does take about a month to fully get back in size, but we were prohibited to do much of anything at least for eight weeks. And then after eight weeks, it we we had follow-ups and various things to check to see how we were doing. But it was it was a rough eight weeks. It wasn't horrible. I was off meds within the first three days, but it was just you know, your your my cut is different than Sherry's, and so my incision was it's about seven inches straight down the middle of my from my like the middle of my chest to my belly button. And so they split open your abs. And so that's so hard when that they have to sew those back together because every movement requires your abs. You know, sitting, standing, turning, lifting, coughing, stretching, all of that you feel, and so it it can be pretty uncomfortable for a few weeks.

SPEAKER_02 14:47

Oh gosh, Sherry, your incision was different?

SPEAKER_00 14:51

Yes, they they call it the Mercedes-Benz scar because it's shaped like a Mercedes-Benz emblem, of course not the bottom part. But yeah, yeah, it's kind of been pretty good.

SPEAKER_02 15:02

That's amazing. And did you two see each other in the hospital? Oh, yes, before and after. And had you had you connected with each other even before this, once you decided you were gonna do this, Nikki, did you and Sherry, did you two get to know each other better?

SPEAKER_03 15:18

We got to know each other a little bit better. We actually traveled together and stayed together pre-surgery. Nice. And so we spent the first two or three days, Cher, what was it? I don't remember before because we had to go up to the Mayo early. So we were up there at least at least a couple days early prior to surgery to get checked in and and make sure we were there. And then uh in fact, I've played pickleball. Oh my gosh. Of course. But uh we uh we were up, we were up there early, and then we shared an Airbnb together, and then after surgery, we were uh together as well for a few days because the mayo won't let you leave. You're required to stay at least five to seven days because they have to do final checks, make sure your liver's functioning well, you're doing okay, and so we didn't get to leave the state for another week. So we were gone about I don't know, ten days or so.

SPEAKER_01 16:20

Wow. And I'm sure the pickleball community showed up for you guys during this time.

SPEAKER_03 16:25

They did. Absolutely. It it it it was it was really for me personally, it was really good. I got had friends bringing food and checking on us and you know, sending prayers, asking me how was Sherry. In fact, recently um more of my friends, because of the um article that was written in uh pick pickleball.com, they finally got to see Sherry. Some people had known of her but hadn't actually seen her, and then they saw her on television at Mesa. And then a few of them saw her again at McKinney. So our faces have kind of been around. We've been traveling the tour, so to speak, watching the PPA.

Recovery And New Life Priorities

SPEAKER_02 17:06

The liver tour. I love it. So, how has this experience, would you say, how has it changed you or impacted you personally? Each of you.

SPEAKER_03 17:18

You want to go first?

SPEAKER_00 17:19

Sure. For me, I think um, you know, I was ready to do my eight-week recovery time and get back to work because I love my job, I love what I do, and I was just ready to go back. Well, it didn't work out like that, you know. You you think it's not gonna be a big deal, but it it was a big deal. And it it does take several months to even, like Nikki said, your energy is so low, your body's trying to heal and regenerate. And it was like the more I stayed home, and I have I have one grandson, and I got to see him more. And it's like it took several months, but I finally came to the conclusion that I'm not going back to work. I'm going to enjoy life. Nice. So that that was a big, big change for me to get to work, not being my primary focus and just to enjoy life.

SPEAKER_02 18:06

Oh, that's a big shift. That's very cool. How about you, Nikki?

SPEAKER_03 18:12

I think it's just made me more aware of the community that we have, especially through pickleball, how amazing it is that we meet so many different people from so many different backgrounds, and that a sport is able to bring us all together. Because my recovery, I think, was a little bit easier than Sherry's. And I was back up and playing pickleball again. Uh, I think I was, I think within three months I was on the courts playing. Within 10 weeks, 10 or 11 weeks, I was on the yeah, 10, 9, yes, 10 weeks, I was on the court coaching again with assistance. So I had a friend, I convinced him to feed balls for me, and uh, and then um I ended up using ball machines after that. But you know, I just happen to have a job that allows me more flexibility, and it's just a part-time thing, I'm retired too. But I really feel like the community that I've learned, or I should say, that I've grown to love, got to know, was extremely supportive through all of this. You know, they continue to ask how I am. As of recent, some people didn't even know what I'd done a year ago, and they're just finding out, and they are still thanking me and thinking it's incredible and an amazing thing, and I appreciate that. I I I guess for me it's harder. I I don't necessarily look at it the same way I guess some people do. In fact, I think on a lot of days I would have forgotten by now what we had done, and in April 8th is our anniversary. It will have been a year ago, but my scar reminds me, and I'm glad that I was able to help a friend. But that was my whole objective is that I had a friend that had a friend that she loved a lot that needed some help, and um, you know, I didn't want Roxy and Ronnie to suffer any more loss. They'd had quite a bit already in their lives between their past family, and it was getting down to the point where it was about to be just the two of them and their mom and Sherry, and I didn't I just felt like it was a thing I needed to try, needed to do, and if it worked out, I was really excited about that. But I just loved Ronnie and Sherry there and and and Roxy, they're all amazing people. If I could help them, I wanted Sherry to have an opportunity because she said she has a grandson, to get to see him grow, get to watch him, you know, play soccer, and uh, you know, he's Native American and he's a QT and he's you know actively part of the Cherokee community, and I didn't want her to miss out on opportunities that she wouldn't get if I didn't at least try.

Coaching For Joy Over Perfection

SPEAKER_01 21:04

Wow. Has this experience changed the way you interact on the court or coach players?

SPEAKER_03 21:11

I don't know if I would say it has changed how I interact or coach with my players because I think I coach differently than some coaches. Like I'm a big fan of Dane Giggridge. You know, I've read his book, I follow him a lot, and I really feel like his philosophy on coaching is pretty spot on. Like we have to be more aware when we're coaching about trying to not be so focused on helping that person get their shot exactly right, as much as we need to be trying to figure out a way to bring them joy when they're on the court. Want them to be excited about the game, want them to want to continue to play, come back and see me, go hang out with their friends, you know, continue to build community. continue to help this game grow. And um my coaching is different. I didn't start coaching um to see how much money I could make. I mean, sure I was trying to make some money along the way, but I I started coaching because I have always loved coaching. I mean I've been coaching since I was 16. I just was coaching a different sport.

SPEAKER_02 22:22

Wow.

SPEAKER_03 22:22

I was coaching softball. And I didn't get to coach in college. And so this is now my opportunity to do something just in a different realm. I really do love it. I coach my focus is mostly beginners. I do coach some intermediate, more slightly advanced players, but being beginners is really where I love it because they get so excited when they do something right. And they all think they're horrible. And the reality is they're not they're not horrible by any means. They just need some guidance. And it's a lot of fun for me. I get a lot of joy out of it. And if I ever stop playing personally I don't think I'll ever stop coaching. It's just a lot it's something I enjoy probably more on any given day than actually being on the court playing.

Life Lessons And Letting People In

SPEAKER_02 23:13

Wow that is really cool. Well you both have had quite a journey and Sherry you were saying you haven't yet gotten back on the court you look forward to when you can do that but I'm glad you're taking good care of yourself and you were ill before the surgery so you would have a longer journey to get back to full health I'm glad you're on your way. What life lessons will have each of you gleaned through pickleball or through this experience that was connected to pickleball?

SPEAKER_00 23:46

I think for me it was just you know I've never been one to surround myself with a lot of friends and and that kind of thing but I've made so many friends just by being involved with it. I have friends in Tulsa friends in Springfield just all over and learning to let people in through something that is so enjoyable has been good.

SPEAKER_03 24:09

I think for me it's taught me that it's amazing that the direction life leads us and you just never know by whom you might meet in the community what an impact you can have on them or they can have on you. You know just by happenstance I know Roxy and you know I met her five years ago. Had I not met her on the pickleball court we may not be having this conversation. And so for that I'm very thankful. I'm thankful we did meet. I'm glad that I was able to help a friend in need. And I think pickleball is creating such a community and it's amazing all the different people we have all the different skill sets that they offer different places that they come from that as you build your community there's usually someone available that can help you in some way or another if you really need help. And I think that's the thing I love so much about pickleball is that we ultimately get more than just a friendship sometimes out of it. I know I've gained friends that I never imagined having I mean I I have hundreds of friends I have friends in Florida California Arizona Oklahoma Texas I mean Arkansas Missouri there just from paperball just between playing and meeting and getting to know people from the court and outside of that facility and I think it's also a way to to get to know a community and as we grow older socialization is so important. And because it's so important it helps keep us younger that pickleball is a great way to keep us younger. And so I really really do appreciate all that pickleball has given me it's changed my life it's absolutely changed my life.

Social Media, Thanks, And Closing

SPEAKER_02 26:02

Me too yeah I'd say it definitely has changed your life sherry yes definitely has changed both of your lives that is so beautiful.

SPEAKER_00 26:11

So are you both on social media and if so how can people find you I'm on Facebook Sherry Jones Murfrey I believe and uh yeah that's pretty much all I all I do is for social media.

SPEAKER_03 26:25

Facebook okay yes yes I'm I'm just I'm on Facebook and Instagram Nikki and I k i baker but I don't I don't post anything about coaching or anything in particular so okay but if you're interested in you know seeing my posts they are there. So and you are not advertising your coaching for people in your area who want to I you know I've considered doing it but I stay pretty busy um most part. Word of mouth word of mouth really uh does me you know pretty good justice and uh and so I you know I've considered maybe after this year putting something more out there but for now I don't want to get too busy. Yeah still just to be able to play. No you have to have time to play. Yeah you want to play. And I do take care of a little one once a week so I I stay pretty pretty pretty busy between home and pickleball and I really enjoy playing so I've got to have time to put in practice so I can get on the courts.

SPEAKER_02 27:30

Well this has really been such a sweet sweet conversation very touching I love the friendship that's developed between the two of you and the way that pickleball brought you together in such a meaningful way and you're each finding your balance Sherry you deciding no this is a good wake up call I'm gonna just enjoy life and Nikki you wanting to keep your balance and not get so busy that you can't play pickleball and be with the little one once a week it's really really sweet. Thank you so much for being on our show. Thank you appreciate it thank you thanks Lister good to see you so cool and thank you all my gosh thank you for tuning in today what a sweet story and you know if you're in need the pickleball community is probably not too many are asking for a liver but maybe you have something that's not quite as drastic that you need and the pickleball community almost always will step up and so be sure to reach out if you're in need. And one thing we want to mention if you want something to just kind of inspire you we have this little book it's called Life Lessons from Pickleball and it features the first 80 some guests on our show and Nikki and Sherry will be in volume two. And uh it has just a little little vignette about each person and their life lesson. And it's just a real inspiring lovely gift or something for you to look at each day. And a portion of the proceeds go to help deliver pickleball paddles, nets and balls to communities underserved all around the world. So thank you all for all of your likes, your sharing, your subscriptions to this podcast please share this episode with those who you know will be touched by this story. And we look forward to a new conversation next week. Bye-bye.

SPEAKER_01 29:32

Bye-bye if you love our podcast we'd be so grateful if you'd take a few seconds to follow or subscribe to Life Lessons from Pickleball. This ensures you'll never miss an episode and helps us continue these wonderful conversations.

SPEAKER_02 29:46

On Apple Podcasts, Spotify or wherever you listen, go to the show page and tap the follow button in the top right corner. And on YouTube, click the subscribe button under any of the episodes. Thanks so much. Hope to see you on the court